What to Really Expect When You're Expecting

I have a dear friend who will be meeting her little girl soon. And one year ago today my second little girl was born. This means I am in the mood to write, although the words below don't even come close to what is burning in my heart. 

I've been thinking back to the days leading up to my first delivery and what I was expecting the next year to look like. I can tell you, without a shadow of doubt, that the first year was not at ALL what I was expecting. There is so much that the books don't tell you and there are some things that will completely blindside you on this new adventure. Here are just a few from the top of my head.

1. Expect to be more tired than you have ever been in your entire life. I'm talking fall-asleep-while-walking tired, or can't-move-my-legs-but-really-have-to-pee tired. But, as soon as that baby falls asleep and you'll remember those "words of advice" that said "sleep while she's sleeping," instead you'll suddenly have a surge of energy like a hyena chasing a gazelle and you'll decide to do the laundry or unload the dishwasher only to be instantly comatose the minutes she wakes up.
   
   
2. Expect to be very afraid. This human is now in your care and I can guarantee you that your fears will not be "will I drop her" or "will she breastfeed," but instead "will I teach her what she needs to know" and "will I break her spirit." Let me tell you that you will and you won't.
   
   
3. Expect to fall in love... or not. I've given this advice before because so many people don't, but it needs to be said. You may not "fall in love" right away. Oh, don't get me wrong, you will love her more than you ever thought possible. And maybe you will gush and cry and tremble at the joy that she brings to you the moment you see her. But, maybe you won't. 
   
   Maybe you'll look at her and the only thing you'll really feel is relief that delivery is over and she's here. That's OK. While you have carried her for nine months, she might be a stranger to you. Take your time getting to know her and let her get to know you. You are a wellspring of life to her and she is wellspring of love for you, so take your time drinking it in and all the right feelings will come.
   
   
4. Expect to eventually love harder and deeper and wider and scarier than ever before. You will realize that this is a person that you would actually die for a million times over if needed. You will look in her face, watch her grow, witness her first smile, hear her first laugh and you will love big-time love. 
   
   And with that, you will start to get a tiny taste of what Christ's love is like for you. It will change you, if you let it. And then, one day, the thought will occur to you that Christ loves her even more. That He died for you, but Praise His Holy Name, He died for HER!
   
   
5. Expect to be stronger than you know and stronger than you realize at the moment. In a few days, weeks, months and year, you will look back over what's happened and you will realize that you are a super hero. Your cape may be covered in spit up and baby poop but you are a super hero!
   
   
6. Expect things to change. When I was pregnant I used to hate hearing people say "it'll never be the same." Ok, I still hate hearing it, but only because it's said with a bit of dread and regret. I want you to know that it will never be the same in the absolute best way possible. It will be hard, the nights will be long, but your heart will be bigger, your smile will be wider, your determination will be deeper, your arms will be stronger (literally and figuratively).
   
   
7. Finally, expect God to shine. The books won't tell you this, but in those moments when it is harder than you ever thought possible, you will be able to see God's heart shine brighter. His Word will be a source of comfort and His people will be a source of strength. Let Him come to you and let us hold up your arms when you don't think you can go any further on your own.

You are so loved, my dear friend. Here's to the rest of your life!