What does it mean to be broken? For my little girl, it meant tears, disappointment, and agony at the thought that a dear toy would be no more.

With eyes of despair and tears tumbling down her cheeks, I was responsible for delivering the news.
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“Not all things that are broken can be fixed.”

I held her, and stroked her hair and sent her to bed with reassurances that “mama will try.” A hope was sparked in her heart but she still walked away with a frown. 

​They say if you love something you let it go. That’s stupid, by the way, at least most of the time. Sure, there’s an element of truth, but it’s also a lot of nonsense. I love my daughters so I would never “let them go” in to a busy parking lot… see what I mean?

Here’s the truth: If you love something (or someone), you will refine it. 

​When I say, “I love you,” what I mean is that my heart doesn’t know what it’s like to not know you. I mean that I didn’t know what love really felt like until I saw you. What I want to say is that I will never be able to stop, even if I tried. I am saying that you forever changed me and I am forever grateful for it.

When I say, “I love you,” I am extending open hands to you to feed you, clothe you, catch you when you fall, help you stand, steady your steps, dance, cook, mend, cradle, embrace, play, check for fevers, and tickle. 

It’s been one of those seasons – one like I’m sure you’ve seen. When the wind only seems to blow cold and the need for spring burns in your soul. Yes, a soul spring is what I need… A warming.

I make plans, make lists, schedule and coordinate. I love order. And then God breaths in and blows out a mighty wind across my perfectly laid plans like a storm ripping up a freshly planted crop. The crop held hope for tomorrow. But God has different plans for today.

​Golden curls at the nape of your neck.
Eyelashes forming a gentle swoop.
A profile that’s all cheeks and nose.
A proud round belly not afraid of tickles.
Sunlight catching the strands around your eyes.
Tiny first steps in the crunch of grass.
Arms raised in abandon from the blue swing seat.