I am crushed today, under the weight of disappointments. I am crushed, today, under the weight of loneliness. I am crushed, today, under the weight of my mistakes. I am crushed, today, under the weight of tomorrow.
And I am scared. I am not scared of the future, specifically, but I am afraid that what I have done to today will mar our tomorrow. Today was all I had and I didn’t do it very well. I could feel pieces of me breaking today. Pieces have been breaking for a while but, in the past, it has been pleasant, like the falling away of chains. However, the pieces that broke today were not meant to fall – at least I don’t think so.
I found myself measuring – my weight, my popularity, my meaning, my worth, my beauty, my importance, my self – and I came up short every time. Came up short to what, though? Expectations? Yeah, that’s probably it.
Don’t we all come up short of our expectations – we trip and fall into the shadows of misguided worth?
My dear, dear girls, this is for you…
This world will work really hard to define you and label you. It will want to slap a price on a tag and hang it from your ear. It will declare she is X therefore she is worth Y. Labels, worth, identity… it’s all the same.
You are worth the blood of the lamb of God, the innocent lamb of God. You are worth His attention, His affection, and His sacrifice. But you don’t deserve it! Shockingly, in God’s accountancy, these two things aren’t in opposition. God doesn’t operate on the idea that your performance defines your value. And how the world values you is not how God values you.
He values you because He loves you. He loves you because He chose to. That’s it. You didn’t deserve it, although I think you’re pretty awesome and so does He. You, my child, have sin and foolishness bound up in your heart. This is the way you were born. There is nothing you can do to change that…
….expect throwing yourself in to the arms of Jesus.
And it’s in His arms, wrapped in His forgiveness, sheltered by His will, clothed in His righteousness, looking into His face, and proclaiming “I am His” that you will unwrap the beautiful gift of unearned worth. Here you will find a value high above one the world will give you.
You will find that your value is far above rubies, you are more beautiful than all the lilies in the world and He wants to hear your voice and see your face. (Psalm 3:15; Matt 6:28-29; Song of Songs 2:14)
One day, the call will come and the Lord will say, “Arise my love, my darling, and come away with me.” (Song of Songs 2:10) He will make you His, if you choose Him, and there on your heart He will stake His claim. Do not delay in answering Him.
Your worth from the moment of conception is found in the tapestry of God’s divine plan for humanity. He chose you and your story to be a part of it. He planned for you, He placed you, He pleads with you to come closer every step of the way.
For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. Psalm 139:13-14
Although I love you, your value does not lie in my love for you. Although I think you are smart, your value does not lie in your intelligence. Although you are beautiful, your value does not lie in your reflection. Although you are kind and generous, your value does not lie in your goodness. Although you are friendly, your value does not lie in your friendships. Although you are talented, your value does not lie in applause.
This world will fail you, I will fail you, and you will disappoint yourself. You will have days, like I did, where you will measure yourself against lies and you will find yourself falling short. You will always fall short. There will always be someone better than you. There will always be something you can’t quite do. And if this is where you find your value, you will always be left wandering and wondering.
Please, my girls, please, on these days, remember that your value lies in the strong pierced hands of the Savior. And your worth is found in His eyes. He loves you… and He really likes you, too.
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