I've Been Thinking of You

I vacuumed and cleaned and stuffed toys back in their boxes for what feels like the millionth time in the last three months. In fact, that’s probably pretty close to truth. Another day another showing. 

 Then I stood in our front yard and listened to God. His words? Sometimes they come. Sometimes they don’t. Sometimes I’m not listening. But that moment they came.

​I heard Him.

“For my glory. For my glory.”

The words repeated in my head as I walked to the mailbox and then collapsed into the car. There on the front seat I cried.

Something inside the mailbox came to me – eleven years in the making.

Eleven years ago God planned this. Eleven years ago in a store, God moved for this moment now. Eleven years ago, and then through three moves and many changes, a card traveled. Forgotten… but not.

Eleven years later the card made its way to me. The note now, eleven years later, leaves a message that it likely would not have held when it was fresh and new. Now, three children, eleven years, and many miles of separation later, it comes speaking softly and swiftly as if it was planned that way all along – it was.

It was planned. She didn’t know. I certainly didn’t know. But He did. HE knew what HE was doing. HE says to me,

​“you see what I am doing. You see, if I can plan a simple note eleven years ago for this very moment, imagine how much more I have all of this in my hands and in my control.”

You see what I am doing?

I see. And then I forget. It’s what I do. God is constantly having to remind me. Thankfully, it’s what He does. HE is patient and He reminds me when I forget.

I am doing things you can’t see. Things you can’t imagine. Things you would never even dream of on your own.

I am thankful for this friend who thinks of me, prays for me, and remembered me every time she looked at this card. I am thankful for her sweet, sweet words and encouragement that were eleven years in the making. But I am more thankful for the God who constructed such a simple, seemingly insignificant thing, to reach me at just the right moment and deliver the message He had for my heart. I am thankful that He uses people, He uses us, to deliver His messages. I am thankful not just that He sees fit to use us, but sees fit to look upon us at all.
​
I am thankful for God knowing eleven years ago what I would need and then for singing over me.

You see, sometimes God goes before us and smooths the way making the path easy. Other times God goes before us and carves out valleys, opportunities, if you will. God goes before us and then calls to us to follow Him, valley or mountain, struggle or ease. Both are blessings. Both are all for His glory. One path is not greater than the other. The smooth path does not bring God more glory than the one riddled with holes and disfigured with fire. 

I don't pretend to know why God has made some paths easier to walk than others. And I certainly don't think I have been called to walk a particularly difficult one at the moment in comparison to the massive burden of disease, death, and loss that others face. However, this one is mine to carry. Some paths are much heavier than others when weighed on human scales. But we are all called to "take up our cross" and follow. 

His path is not always one without hiccups. Neither is His path always one full of landmines. His path is what He crafts for each of us and they are all different. They are all beautiful, especially when you get to hear Him speaking to you from eleven years in the past and He says, “I’ve been thinking of you.”

Behold, I am doing a new thing;
    now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?
I will make a way in the wilderness
    and rivers in the desert.
Isaiah 43:19